Bufferbloat Related Humor

Without blowing off steam once in a while, any project can get a little tense.
This is a collection of good jokes about Bufferbloat that have gone by, mostly on irc and in email.

Jim Gettys

“Bufferbloat is surely an equal opportunity destroyer of latency”

Steve Lord

(after seeing the differences between a normal TCP trace and a bufferbloat trace)

“Wow. That’s like an EKG on crack.”

Bill Sommerfeld

Overheard at work: “Bufferbloat .. is that the new global warming?”

Dave Täht

“Wireless routers: We made them. They devolved. There are many copies.”

Conversations:

esr: I explained Bufferbloat to a couple close friends. They got it instantly and had exactly the holy-leaping-#@![]()-how-did-we-miss-this reaction you’d expect.
dtaht: AWESOME. 2 down, 2 billion to go!

dtaht: Got any additional sysadmin types in mind for the site? It’s not what I do normally…
jg: As in people?
dtaht: No. Clones would be best.

del_diablo: BTW: How was the usenet days like?
(dtaht5 doesn’t remember what usenet was like. he’s having a señor moment)
dtaht5: oh, yea, back then, we used to have to carry our packets scribbled on little tiny pieces of paper.
dtaht5: RFC1149 was a REAL improvement on how we did things way back when.
del_diablo: RFC1149? Am I reading right? :P
dtaht5: yea. before that, we had to carry the darn packets by HAND!
del_diablo: Well, but its a ancient roman standard (or older) :(
dtaht5: Oh, don’t get me started about when we had to use cuniform and clay tablets… talk about latency!
dtaht5: and man… those kilns ran HOT! Hotter than a guruplug, by far.
(dtaht5 goes to feed the pigeons)

Songwriting:

(composed by RevWaldo )

(Here is an earlier version of this , that’s more complete, but slightly less relevant to bufferbloat)

Every Packet is Sacred

Every packet is sacred.
Every packet is great.
If a packet is wasted,
TCP gets quite irate.

Let the heathen drop theirs
When their RAM is spent.
TCP shall make them pay for
Each packet that can’t be sent.

Every packet is wanted.
To this we are sworn.
From real-time data from CERN
To the filthiest of porn.

Every packet is sacred.
Every packet is great.
If a packet is wasted,
TCP gets quite irate.